Despite its problematic affinities for primitivist idealism, and despite—or because of—the current vogue for equating non-monogamy with “lifestyl- ism,” this piece deserves to be read. There is an ongoing popular “wisdom” which says it is reasonable for people navigating the murky waters of relation- ships to resolve emotional discrepancies through the creation of rules, “compromises” that no one is really happy with and that only lead to control games and catastrophes later on. This essay calls our attention to what is difficult, but most important: the emotional content and dynamics of relationships rather than any formal structures we attempt to impose on them, with whatever intention, and the importance of free relationships to the project of a free world. Here is one moment in a long and vital dialogue.
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